by Caro Dee
This story was written for Bluewolf, who won it in the Katrina Charity Auction. Bluewolf has generously given her permission for me to post it before her exclusive period is over. A big thank you goes to T.W., who betaed this story, with an assist from Andi and Bluewolf.
Additional Warning: Rimming
|A breathy sigh, followed by a harsh gasp. Then... "Oh yeah. Oh yeaaah.... Please, Chief. God, yeah."
So that happens to be the sound of stoic tough guy, Jim Ellison, helpless in the throes of passion. And this is me here making him sound like that. I've got my mouth on his cock and two fingers up his ass and I'm playing him like a fine violin. Who knew this could be so much fun?
"Oh GOD! Just like that, Sandburg. Fuck! JUST like that."
I mean, I had my doubts when this started. I'll admit that I was dubious -- not really sure I could handle it, definitely not sure Jim could -- but it's been nothing but fucking fantastic. And I do mean that literally. Since we started this three months ago, I've gotten lucky more often and more skillfully than ever before in my life. Not that Jim isn't walking around with just as big an "I'm getting laid" grin, because I'm a quick learner, even if I do say so myself.
"Fuck oh fuck oh fuck! Love your mouth. Love it!"
Heh. Guess Jim says so too. I love that I can reduce Jim to this quivering heap of sentinel-flesh totally focused on the pleasure I'm giving him. Sometimes... Okay, so this is something I won't be admitting to out loud anytime soon, but sometimes Jim will be pulling his alpha shit and people will be backing off left and right and I'll just look at him and think, "You're my bitch, Ellison." Because...
"Oh God, please. Oh please, oh please."
... sometimes I get to fuck Jim. I know, I know. Shocked the hell out of me when he first suggested it. We'd been exchanging blow jobs for a couple months, you know, just friends helping each other out in a dry spell, and I was really getting the hang of it. No complaints whatsoever. Then, one night in the middle of everything, he said to me, "I feel like getting fucked, Chief. You interested?" I was stunned for, like, two whole seconds and then, "Hell yes, I'm interested. Bend over."
"Yeaaah. Suck me harder, Chief."
So there I was lying back, balls-deep in Jim, eyes glued to his face, watching him raise and lower himself on my cock, the expression on his face still and turned inwards as he worked us both towards a spectacular orgasm. Now I prefer women, but if ever a man was beautiful, that man would be Jim, riding my cock. Just thinking about that night makes me stiffen even more and I start sucking faster. I am so ready for my turn.
"Sandburg, hold on... Chief... you can stop now."
What? Jim's pushing me back gently but firmly and sitting up. He smiles reassuringly. "You're doing fine, but that's not what I'm in the mood for."
Oh yeah. Awesome. Jim's not always into the fucking but looks like it's my lucky night tonight. I'm already moving back and saying, "Sure thing, Jim. You want it doggie-style or you want to be on top?"
"No," Jim says slowly. "I think I want to fuck you tonight."
Say what? My mouth drops as I register what Jim just said. My asshole puckers like a prune at the thought of somebody ramming his cock up there. Jim's fingers -- fine. His cock -- no way, man. I start shaking my head firmly, "Oh no, no, no, no! I don't think so. Not going to happen."
"You've done me more than a few times," he points out. "Isn't it my turn?"
Oh no, this is not about fairness. I'm just not oriented that way and it's not my fault that Jim is. Eyes narrowed, I say, "You offered. Each and every time, it was your idea. I'm not offering."
Jim mulls that over, jaw muscle ticking away. After all this time, I can read his body signals like a book -- tense posture, blank face, hard eyes. He doesn't like my answer. Tough. I meet his gaze straight on. I'm not backing down on this, Jim.
"C'mon, Sandburg. Why not?"
"Oh, how about because I'm not gay! What part of that are you not getting here, Jim?" Resolutely ignoring the raised eyebrow, I add, "Besides, you have to admit the blow jobs rock. Let's just stick with them and have ourselves a good time, okay?"
For a second, I swear Jim looks... sad, maybe disappointed. He sighs and shuts his eyes for a moment, slumping just a little. Then, he nods and says, "Okay."
"Okay?" I'm a little surprised and suspicious that he's letting it go so easily. I love and respect the guy, but I'll be the first to admit he can be pissy as hell when things don't go his way.
Jim shrugs. "Yeah, Sandburg. It's okay. I want it; you don't. So that's that."
I stare at him for a moment, trying to penetrate the neutral expression. Is he really okay with this? More importantly, are we okay?
He smiles crookedly. "Get over here. We still have some unfinished business to take care of."
A wave of relief sweeps over me. Jim is not going to be a jerk about this. Smiling back, I move up on the bed and lie down. Oh yeah, party time.
Jim settles down between my legs, and pops my cock in his mouth. Oh God, yeah. Jim is so damned good at this. I close my eyes and just give myself over to whatever Jim wants to do to me. It gradually occurs to me that something's wrong. Oh, Jim is still doing all the right things, it's feeling fantastic, but there's something missing. It's hard to think when my eyes are rolling up in the back of my head, so it takes me a while to realize that Jim's not into it like he normally is. I want to ask him if he's okay, but then my orgasm is in sight and I stop thinking about anything.
"Oh, oh, ooooh yeah. Oh shit, yeah. Jiiiim."
The pleasure peaks and I'm thrusting up into Jim's mouth, watching him drink me down eagerly, and it's just as totally mind-blowing as it always is. As the last intense shivers die down, I slump back in the bed and let out a happy sigh. "Awesome, man."
Jim gives me one last, long suck, sits up and wipes his mouth. He smiles back at me for a second then gingerly gets up off the bed, moves over to the dresser and starts looking through the drawers.
What the fuck? I watch the muscles in his back move as he casually sifts through his clothes, pulling one item out, rejecting it and putting it back. "Jim? What are you doing?"
"What does it look like? I'm getting dressed."
I laugh uneasily. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
Jim turns his head to look over at me. "What?"
"Well," I gesture vaguely at his crotch, which is still looking very interested. "Let me finish taking care of you."
Jim looks at his erection, casually pushes it down and watches it bounce back up. He shrugs. "Don't worry about it."
"C'mon, Jim. Fair's fair." Frowning, I watch as Jim grabs a pair of jeans. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going out."
It's late and it's snowing out there. Jim's not even bothering with underwear. "What for?"
"I told you, Chief. I'm in the mood to fuck. So I'm going to give a couple of old friends a call and see who's available."
"Old friends?" I've got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Well, shit. It takes me a second to process that I'm feeling kind of insulted here. Not to mention, really surprised. "Who?'
Jim stops to think. "You don't know any of them." He zips up the jeans with difficulty and I can't help noticing those jeans are tight. I don't think I've ever seen Jim wear that pair before. Even in the dim light from the lamp downstairs, I swear I can see the large vein on the underside of his cock through the faded material. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure you haven't met them."
"Why haven't I met them?" My voice comes out pretty sharp and Jim looks over at me. "Why didn't I know about them?"
"No reason for you to. I haven't seen any of them since September." Jim's staring at me pretty intently. September. Since we started. "You think you're the first guy I've had an arrangement with? Jesus, Sandburg. I'm a cop and before that, I was military. You think I can afford to hang out in gay bars and risk rumors?" He smiles ruefully. "Lots of other guys are in the same situation. We help each other out."
Whoa. That is just... that is so weird. I swallow hard. It's like everything I knew about Jim is all jumbled. This isn't just fooling around for him. He has sex with other guys regularly. Jim is gay. Okay, technically bi but still... weird.
He's weighing two sweaters and picks the black one. He pulls it on over his head, the muscles in his arms and chest bunching. Now, that baby had to have shrunk in the wash, because it's tighter than the jeans. No undershirt. I suddenly realize that the reason Jim's not wearing anything underneath his clothes is because he's not planning on wearing them long.
"Not sure when I'll be back, so I'll see you in the morning. Don't forget we have that witness interview at 8:30. You sure you can make it?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," I tell him, watching as he grabs his wallet and keys and stuffs them in his pockets. It's not until he adds the condom and the lube packet that I speak up. "So, that's it? I won't give in and so you're punishing me."
Jim looks at me and frowns. "What are you talking about, Sandburg? It's not a punishment. I want this; you don't. So, I'm looking elsewhere. No big deal. It doesn't mean I don't like our arrangement -- I happen to like it a lot. But you're not my boyfriend and that means we both get to see other people whenever we want. In fact, we both slept with other people last weekend. Right? That is the definition of fuck buddy," he adds dryly. "Or am I mistaken?"
"No," I mutter sullenly. "You're not mistaken."
"So we have no problem here." Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he starts pulling on his socks and hiking boots. His movements are brisk and economical. In no time at all, he's done and standing up. "You're welcome to sleep up here. Just don't make a mess." Then he's jogging down the stairs.
I roll back on the bed and stare up at the ceiling, listening while Jim crosses over to the phone and dials. After a minute, I hear him hang up and start dialing again.
"Hey, Ben. It's Jim Ellison... Fine. You?"
I hear Jim chuckle. His voice is low and intimate and I can tell that whoever this Ben is, Jim likes him. "Yeah, I heard about that. Listen, you free tonight?"
I realize I'm holding my breath.
"Great! See you in twenty?" Jim hangs up and heads into the bathroom where I can hear him brushing his teeth. Oh yeah, wouldn't want to kiss Ben with cum breath, right, Jim?
What the hell is wrong with me? Jim's right. If he wants to go out and fuck someone else rather than settle for a blow job from me, that's his choice. He's a free agent. He had a date last Saturday and I was okay with that. Hell, I was pretty busy myself with Lizzie at the time. What makes this any different?
Nothing. Nothing makes it different. I can feel myself getting angrier as I realize that Jim is trying to manipulate me. He's set this up as 'put out or shut up' time. Damn him. He's not bluffing either. He'll do it, because he said he would. He's going to go to this Ben guy and fuck him senseless. For a second, I can see it -- Jim pumping away in some faceless guy's ass, making that helpless moaning noise as he comes...
"Night, Chief," Jim calls out as he heads for the door.
No! It's not gonna work, you asshole. It's not...
The footsteps halt and the loft is completely silent. I swallow really hard, hating that I know Jim can hear that. "Wait. I --" My voice catches and I try again. "I'm offering."
Still no sound from Jim. I'm just thinking that he's not going for it, that he's still walking out that door, when he turns around and comes back up the stairs. My heart is pounding in my chest, but when Jim hits the top of the stairs, I meet his eyes, slowly turn over on my stomach and spread my legs apart.
"Jesus," Jim says quietly and then the mattress sinks as he sits down next to me. "Blair, you don't really want to do this."
Okay, now I'm nervous and pissed, as I twist my neck around to glare up at him. "Don't tell me what I want to do. I can make my own decisions, Ellison."
Jim's hand is brushing the hair out of my face as he stares down at me. I see this odd combination of heat and regret in his eyes. Mouth quirking, he says, "Tell me something I don't know. I've never had any luck with getting you to do anything you don't agree with."
Okay, that made me smile. I'm starting to calm down just a little. Then Jim adds, "So I don't understand why you're changing your mind now."
Aargh. "I don't know."
"Yes, you do." Jim says, tugging sharply on a strand of hair. "That busy brain of yours never quits. What's your theory, professor?"
Sometimes I hate Jim. Can't he just let this go? He wanted my ass and now he's got it. Why is that not enough? He wants me to beg for it too? Not. Going. To. Happen.
I'm glaring up at Jim and he's staring implacably down at me, waiting for my answer. I realize that he's not going to budge until I come up with something.
"Jeez, I don't know, all right? We've got this thing and it's really fun and convenient. So, I don't see why you should have to..." I'm floundering around here, so I take a deep breath and just say it. "If you're going to have casual, meaningless sex, you should have it with me."
"Ah," says Jim, with this tone of enlightenment. He seems strangely pleased. "Territory." I must look confused, because he goes on to say, "I'm your fuck buddy, no one else's."
Huh. I try that on for size and nod. That sounds... good. My fuck buddy. I like that.
Jim slaps my ass. "You talked me into it, Chief. Give me a minute to cancel with Ben." He heads back down and I smile as I listen to Jim tell Ben that something came up and he can't make it. Then, Jim is back up in the bedroom and leering cheerfully at me.
Wait a second. I talked him into it? That's quite the revisionist history there, buddy. I'd say something but I don't want to distract Jim from stripping his clothes off a hell of a lot faster than he put them on. I just roll over and lay there watching him, fingers drumming on my belly, and mentally sneer at Ben who's not getting any Jim tonight. Or any other night. Ha! Loser.
Naked again, Jim slides onto the bed on top of me, his eyes dark and almost predatory. Suddenly, I'm nervous as hell. Jim stops and looks at me. "You okay?"
"You, uh, you do know I've never done this before?"
His face softens, and he looks less like a predator and more like my best friend. "I kind of figured that out." Then the corner of his mouth twitches. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle..."
I glare up at him. Don't go there, Jim.
"... with your sweet, little, cherry ass."
"Oh, fuck you, asshole." I'm laughing, even though I'm still sort of pissed. I've half a mind to keep my cherry ass, thank you.
"Not tonight," he smirks. "But tomorrow? Go for it."
The thought of fucking Jim makes my cock twitch and start to harden. Jim obviously feels it, because he lifts up and looks down between our bodies. When he looks back up, he's back to looking like a hungry lion who's spotted dinner. I gulp and remind myself to relax. This is Jim. He's not going to hurt me.
Jim slides down just far enough to kiss and lick my nipples. We've never done much foreplay, just gotten right down to business. The fact that he's doing it now confuses me. It's as if, now that he's going to fuck me, he's treating me like... like a lover. I try to push him away. "What are you doing, Jim? Stop it."
He lifts his head to stare at me, confused. "Why?"
I can't quite meet his eyes. "I'm just not comfortable with that."
He stares at me some more, then his grip along my ribs tightens. "No." Startled, I look at him. "Jesus, Blair. There's nothing wrong with a little foreplay. The more excited you are, the better it'll feel and the less likely it is to hurt. Why are you fighting it?"
Maybe I don't want it to feel good. Maybe not hurting is good enough. I don't say it out loud though.
Jim sighs and moves back up. He closes his eyes and drops his forehead on mine. "We shouldn't be doing this. You're not ready."
For a split second I want to take the out Jim's giving me and then I remember Ben. Nuh-uh. Not happening. "Yes, I am."
Jim lifts his head to study me and I have to smile at his dubious expression. "Really. Have your way with me, big guy."
He snorts, still staring at me thoughtfully, and slowly nods. He leans down and, for one horrified moment, my eyes widen as I think, 'Holy shit, he's going to kiss me!' Instead, he swerves to the side to suck on my earlobe and a jolt of lust shoots right down to my cock. I totally ignore the smug chuckle Jim makes in my ear to concentrate on squirming up against Jim's body.
As Jim practically chews his way from my ear down my neck and back to my nipples, I'm starting to think that maybe Jim has a point about foreplay. Might as well enjoy what I can. "Whoa! Oh yeah. Right there."
And there. And over here. And... Damn, where did all these erogenous spots come from? Jim's talented mouth follows the scenic route down my torso to my... "Fuck! Yes!"
Instead of the focused blow job Jim gave me earlier, this time he's just horsing around, licking the length of my cock and popping the head in for a brief swirl before letting go, then doing it all over again. Just enough stimulation to get me going and not enough to do any good. He slides one finger down to my asshole and rubs tiny little circles until I can feel myself tightening and opening, inviting that finger to slide into me. This part I can handle. "C'mon, Jim. Don't tease me."
Jim moves up into a kneeling position. His eyes are dark and heavy-lidded as they trail along my body. I can't resist a little arch and stretch, and he looks amused as he finally meets my eyes. "Who's teasing who here?"
Oh yeah? Never dare a Sandburg. Grinning, I pull my knees up to my chest. "A tease is someone who promises and doesn't deliver. You tell me."
"Damn." Jim's gaze is riveted on the area between my legs as he strokes his cock. After a minute, he stops with obvious reluctance to tell me, "Turn over."
Right. Time to do this. I roll over and flatten out on the bed, spreading my legs to either side of Jim behind me. Then I lie there waiting.
Jim runs his hands down my back to gently cup my ass. He arranges himself behind me and his hands part my cheeks. Just as I'm suddenly thinking, "Wait! Lube?", instead of a hard cock shoving into me, Jim's warm, wet tongue is licking my asshole. I sputter in surprise and Jim bursts out laughing and doesn't stop until I kick him in the side with my heel. Then he goes back to work on me.
This is something I'd done before with a former girlfriend who was both inventive and curious. We tried it, agreed it felt nice but nothing special, and set it aside with no regret. But now, I'm thinking we gave up much too soon. Because Jim is making me a believer.
Jim is the most skilled lover I've ever been with. Well, with the sentinel senses he would be, wouldn't he? But this? God, I didn't even know I could like this and Jim is zeroing in on every sensitive nerve ending in a one square inch area. I don't know how that's possible, but between the licking, the sucking, the nibbling, Jim's tongue slipping inside me, and the pleased humming sounds he's making, I'm a goner. It's as if that part of me is waking up for the first time to realize it's a sexual organ. My asshole feels swollen and pulsing and... and hungry for more attention. I'm moaning and my hips are making these tiny circles against the the movements of Jim's tongue. "Ah, Jim. So good, so good..."
Jim stops and sits up. "You're doing really well, Sandburg. Really, really well," he tells me in a roughened voice, hands running up and down my back.
"Ah no, why'd you stop?" I protest, twisting to one side to pull him back in.
"Hold on," he says and leans up and across me, the head of his cock sliding over my lower back, leaving a tiny trail of moisture that quickly turns chilly in the air. He rests his weight on me as he rummages inside the drawer of the nightstand and I'm hyper-aware of the heat and strength of him against my skin.
"Got it," he grunts and pulls back to kneel behind me. Then two slicked fingers are sliding into me and heading straight for my prostate. Oh yeah, I know this and I love it, although usually Jim's giving me head at the same time. I moan approvingly and rock back on Jim's fingers. "Yeah, you like this. Just open up and relax."
Jim's other hand is teasing my balls lightly while he continues to finger fuck me and the whole thing is driving me crazy. Writhing on the bed is stimulating my cock and finally I just give in and start humping the mattress furiously.
"Oh no, Chief, none of that. Not yet," he tells me firmly and hauls me up off the bed onto my knees. My balls and cock are dangling in the air, the weight of them making me even more aware and desperate for touch that isn't happening. Jim kisses the small of my back apologetically when I protest but he doesn't relent, fingers slipping back in and continuing to tease and stretch me.
"Please, Jim," I beg over and over, for all the good it does me.
Finally Jim works in three fingers, distracting me from the burn with the way his other hand is rubbing firmly behind my balls. The feel of my prostate massaged from inside and out is so good that it's all I can do to remain on my knees, I'm trembling so hard.
Jim is murmuring encouragement -- how it's going to okay, how hot I look, how he's going to make this so good for me, to let him know if it hurts. It all blurs together with his hands are doing to me.
Finally, Jim stops, leaving me crouched there, ass in the air, hard and empty and hungry. "Are you ready, Chief?"
"I've been ready for the past twenty minutes!" I grit out. "Do it already."
Jim gives this pleased chuckle that would be so annoying if he hadn't thoroughly earned the right. I bite my lip to keep from saying anything that'll distract him and just spread my legs a little further apart. Then there are hands bracing my hips and Jim's cock is pushing inside me.
Oh fuck! Oh fuck, that hurts. I hiss in pain and Jim stops. His hands leave my hips to rub gently over my lower back and down around to my stomach. "Breathe. Relax and breathe," he tells me.
Easy for him to say. My cock wilts and all my muscles are tensed as I hyperventilate and try to get used to the pole shoved into my intestines. When the pain moves from sharp to dull and there's less likelihood I'll snap Jim's cock in half with the sheer power of my butt clench, I manage to say, "I'm okay. Keep going," and brace myself.
Instead of shoving in further, Jim starts to gently rock back and forth. It's absolutely bearable and, after a minute or so, surprisingly pleasant. I find myself rocking with Jim and gradually the movements become longer and deeper. Jim's letting me control how fast we're going and, when I realize that, I'm so incredibly grateful to his self-control and concern for my comfort that I could kiss him. My whole body relaxes as I realize again that Jim's not going to hurt me here, and once I'm relaxed it doesn't hurt anymore.
"That's it, Chief," Jim says. "You've got it." Then he takes over and starts fucking me with long, easy strokes. A slight shift in angle and I groan as he brushes over my prostate. He slides over that spot with each stroke and there's this slow buildup of pleasure inside me. My erection comes back and, with it, the urgency. I'm moving with Jim, pushing back to meet his thrusts, both of us breathing hard in the same rhythm as our bodies' movements. This is good. This is good. I like this.
"You have no idea how gorgeous you look from this angle. I'm watching my cock slide in and out of your ass and you are so fucking hot." Jim's voice is hoarse and urgent, but his slow, steady thrusting doesn't change. I get this visual of Jim staring down at me, using me as his own personal porn movie, and a spasm of lust shoots through me, making my ass spasm around Jim. I hear him moan with pleasure and I want to hear that sound again. I deliberately clench up again.
"Oh, oh yeah, Chief. Do that again," he begs. God, I do love it when he begs.
I'm more than a little distracted, so it takes me a couple seconds to hear the hesitancy in Jim's tone. "Mmm... yeah?"
"You know how I don't like to talk about the sentinel stuff and sex?"
Jim may be talking, but it's not affecting the fan-fucking-tastic precision of his fucking. I have to bite my lip to concentrate on what he's saying. "Yeah."
"I do raise the dials a couple notches to feel it more," he admits quietly.
Whoa! My heart rate slams into high gear. It's not like I haven't jerked off thinking about how much more intense sex must be for Jim. "You... you do?"
"You like that," Jim says with knowing certainty. He throws an extra swivel into his next thrust, which wrings a groan out of me. "The sentinel stuff turns you on."
Guilty as charged. Which I can hardly refute, seeing as how I'm currently pushing back on Jim's cock trying to get him to fuck me faster.
"I'm careful not to go too high because I don't want to risk a zone or scare my partner. But the thing is, Chief..." He speeds up to match my pace and the sudden perfect rhythm makes me gasp and shudder. "The thing is I'd really like to take the senses as high as I can stand it, just to see what it's like. You're the only one I can do that with, because I trust you not to freak if, well, something happens."
Aw Jim. Man, it's so awesome that you can trust me like this. Totally fucking hot. "Yeah, yeah. Do it, Jim."
"Sandburg." Jim stops and the sudden loss of friction makes me moan in protest. "Shhh. Listen, Sandburg. I need you to promise me."
"Jiiiiiim! Okay, I promise. Don't stop."
"I don't want to talk about it afterwards. I don't want this in the thesis. It's private. You listening to me? It's just our business, no one else's."
I almost protest -- all sentinel knowledge is valuable and important -- but then I realize Jim said "our business". Our business. His and mine. Not Ben. None of his other sex partners. Something he'll never share with anyone else. I feel... proud and possessive and... I turn my head and upper body awkwardly to look him in the eye. "I promise. Just us."
For a moment I gaze at him pleadingly. Not even to theorize? Clarify? Establish experimental parameters? Jim shakes his head. I pull a disgusted face at him and reluctantly agree, "No talking. I'll just explode from intellectual frustration and then you'll be sorry."
Jim smirks at me. "That is not the reason you're going to explode, I promise you. Just relax and hold still a minute, okay?"
I let my head fall forward in relief and wait. Jim remains kneeling behind me, still and silent, cock buried deep inside me, hands holding my hips lightly. Even though I can't see him, I've watched him work the dials a thousand times and I know the look of concentration he's wearing right now. Suddenly, I feel his cock twitch hard and Jim gasps. "Ohhh," he breathes, low and urgent. His cock pushes in and out a little tentatively. "Oh my God!"
Oh yeah. My heart races at the helpless pleasure in Jim's voice. "That's it, Jim. Let yourself really enjoy it."
"Oh, oh God." Jim moans and starts pumping. Instead of the smooth thrusts from before, Jim's hips are moving erratically, without rhythm, like he has no control left. "Sandburg... Blair... good... it's good."
"That's, uh, that's great. Yeah." Suddenly, I desperately want to see Jim's face. Just the feel and sound of him are driving me crazy and it's not enough. How incredible would it be to watch him like this? Would it be anything like the fantasies I've had while jerking off, imagining Jim up in his bed giving himself pleasure ten times greater than what I can ever hope to feel? "Keep going, Jim. I've got you."
"Please, please..." Jim gasps, heaving all over me. "Please, Blair... please..."
God, this is amazing. Jim doesn't do locker room talk and I realized early on that this was one area of sentinel experience that, speculation aside, I'd never know about. But now... "What, Jim? What do you need?" Aw Jim, man, I want this to be so good for you.
"...don't let me zone. Oh god... don't... don't let me zone. So good... don't let me... don't..."
"Not going to happen." I won't let that happen. Hard as it is to concentrate, I force myself to talk Jim through this. "Listen to my voice, Jim. Listen to me. Don't get lost in the feeling. Look at me, keep your eyes open. Focus on your other senses. Can you smell me, Jim? Jim? Answer me!"
"...don't let me..."
"Jim! Answer me!"
".. yeah, yeah, Blair. I smell you. God, you smell turned on... oh fuuuuck. You turned on, Blair? You like this?"
"Oh yeah, Jim. I'm liking this. Keep going. Your eyes open? What are you looking at?"
"You... god... you. Beautiful... so good... so fucking good... love... love... Blair... love... this! Love this... best ever. Don't let me... zone... Blair!"
One especially wild lunge and Jim pulls out too far. I cry out with Jim as his cock slips out, leaving this gaping emptiness inside me. Jim's too far gone, helplessly humping against my ass and moaning in despair. In Jim's distracted condition he doesn't have enough control and leverage with me kneeling, so I fling myself flat on the bed and spread my legs. "Back inside me, Jim. Now!"
Jim lands on me hard enough to force the air out of my lungs. Awkwardly, I reach down to grab his arms and maneuver him higher. More through luck than skill, Jim ends up in the right spot, his cock rubbing against my crack. A little hip wriggling on my part and Jim slides right back in with a grateful sob. Oh God, he feels so good, so right.
"Yeah, that's it, Jim. Fuck me, man. Go on. That's it. Do it!" My whole attention is on Jim and I can barely concentrate on talking. Jim surrounds me, inside and outside. The hot, sweaty, rocking feel of him on top of me, his heavy grunting in my ear, his mouth desperately working along my shoulder, licking, tasting... biting! "Oh God yeah. Bite me, Jim. Please, please."
Jim moans and clamps down on the spot right between my trapezius and neck. If I wasn't flying from the endorphins, that would seriously hurt, but now it just revs me up. Fucking primal sentinel! I groan into the pillow and push back against Jim's thrusts. His aim is pretty hit and miss on my prostate, just enough to give me an occasional jolt which is driving me crazy. God, I can feel Jim everywhere, I am so fucking turned on and my cock is screaming for attention. Working my hand underneath me, I grab hold and stroke furiously. "Ohhh God, ohh God... Fuck..." All the pleasure gathers together, tightens and I explode into my fist. Behind me, Jim cries out and he's coming with... coming with... coming...
"Holy shit!" I gasp out, laughing into the pillow. I'm done for. Never gonna move from here. Just gonna lie here and vibrate with afterglow. Jim's stopped moving and collapsed on me like a mountain of quivering, sated sentinel flesh, still mouthing that spot on my neck in a slow, gentle way.
Just when I'm starting to think we're going to fall asleep in this position, Jim lifts his head up. "I bit you," he says, the slow brush of his thumb over the mark somehow apologetic.
I clear my throat, vaguely flail my hand dismissively, and mumble, "S'okay."
"Was it okay, Blair?" Jim asks, quietly. What planet was he on when I moaning and begging for more? But Jim wants reassurance so... "Yeah, it was okay. It was awesome. I liked it, Jim. I'd be willing to do it again."
The hand caressing my neck stills and there's silence for a moment, before Jim says quietly, "Glad to hear it, Chief."
There's a fleeting kiss on the back of my neck, gone so quickly I'm not sure I didn't imagine it. Then Jim is pulling out and heaving himself over just far enough that I can breathe again, his arm and leg still draped over me. "Go to sleep," he whispers and conks out himself.
I turn my head towards Jim and squirm around a bit to get comfortable. Whoa, sore ass. Jim doesn't even register my movement, just lies there looking well-fucked. There's a small frown on his face, just a tightening between his eyebrows really, and I stare at it, wondering if the sex wasn't as good for Jim, but that's just not possible. Slowly, it smooths out and he starts snoring softly.
Tonight has been... educational. I could have sworn women were my thing, but when getting fucked in the ass by my roommate turns out to be one of the peak sexual experiences of my life, maybe it's time to reassess my sexual identity.
Jim's always fascinated me and I knew I liked looking at him, but, hey, sentinel doing the sense thing is pretty fascinating all by itself. I knew Jim was handsome, but it was a theoretical 'yeah, Jim's gorgeous, no wonder the women go for him' kind of thing. I once saw a woman actually walk into a wall, she was staring at Jim so hard. It was hilarious! What was even funnier is that Jim didn't notice. He just helped her up and asked her if she was okay while she hyperventilated at him. Heh.
But now I give myself permission to look. Even in the semi-darkness, the lines of Jim's body are long and elegant. His ass is definitely a work of art. I think he's beautiful. I'm attracted to him. No, make that very attracted. I think maybe I have been since the beginning; I just didn't let myself know it. Looking back over the past, I realize I've been attracted to lots of guys before -- friends, fellow students, strangers on the street.
Damn, and I called Jim repressed. Bisexual. Blair Sandburg is bisexual. I roll that thought around in my head until I feel sort of okay with it. Tomorrow, I'm going to fuck Jim within an inch of his life because I, Blair Sandburg, am bisexual. I will let myself kiss him and touch him in any way I desire, because I can. I'm bisexual. I start to laugh and bury my face in the pillow, mouth clamped shut in order not to wake Jim. I have this image of 'coming out' announcements, "Congratulations, it's a bi!" My whole body is shaking with muffled laughter.
I'm going to have to tell Jim about my epiphany in the morning. He is never going to let me live this down. I bet he knew all along and didn't tell me, the big jerk. Still grinning, I squirm carefully around until I'm on my back. Without waking up, Jim makes a faint protesting noise and snuggles up closer, arm tightening around my chest.
"It's okay, Jim," I whisper, stroking his forearm gently until he settles. Then I close my eyes and join him.
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